I need to first backup to my youth. When I was old enough to understand pregnancy, I learned that pregnant women didn't share the information about their "condition" until they began to show. I presume there were medical reasons the information was kept quiet for several months. There was little sense notifying the community of a pending arrival if there were chances that the pregnancy test was wrong, for example. Until recently, that had been a distinct possibility. I suspect, though, that a core reason for secrecy was self respect and privacy. Back then, expectant mothers seemed to hold their pregnancy with respect and awe, not generally as something to be flaunted publicly. People learned about the expected delivery "at the right time".
I must point out here that I am not writing about pregnancy, but a general, wide spread, attitude about what kinds of things people disclose publicly. It has changed in my lifetime and I'm not always comfortable knowing so much about so many people - many of whom I barely know.
Today, we hear about their pregnancy almost as soon as the test turns pink. It spreads like wildfire and we enter the mom's world for almost the entire term. Is this better than in the past? Because we know something, is it best we share it immediately? Unlike the middle of the 20th century, sharing is far easier. However, does the ease make it okay to pierce the veil of privacy? Heck, after the Supreme Court declared that privacy is some kind of right, the rest of us began to act as if all protection and barriers were removed.
I heard a radio commercial about a coach and his prostate cancer. It was advertising for a certain kind of treatment, but the coach was sharing something very private with everyone who heard the commercial. He commented that the treatment was so easy that his players wouldn't have known what he was going through if he hadn't told them. I must ask, then, why he decided to share his condition with the team, and now with anyone who has the radio turned on? In this coach's case, he is undoubtedly being paid to share his health problems. But, his disclosure reminds me of how I seem bombarded daily with intimate information about people I barely know. Do we pry into personal issues because we can or because those with such issues just want to tell everyone and anyone?
The internet has made everything so easy that we can learn about everyone's diseases, conditions, likes, and dislikes. We read about a diagnosis, a tumor, treatments, successes and failures,about someone's visits to the fertility clinic and their colon examinations. People publicly discuss their skin condition and their baby's bowel movements. Egads! We're endowed with privacy yet we seem bent on voiding it on a regular basis.
Sometimes I write blogs that include personal information - a visit to the ER or something I discovered - with the intent of helping other people understand how they might act in similar situations. The focus isn't on sharing my medical condition but on explaining options available. I see health far differently than most providers today and I want to help peoiple understand that they have options and that they are not mindless puppets performing every task or swallowing every pill a doctor orders.
One of our presidents had polio and his condition was kept quiet because it didn't impact his ability to be president. Another president had sexual escapades that we didn't hear about. Years later a president not only had similar indiscreet escapades but we heard practically every detail - directly or nuanced. For what purpose except to put everything "out there", as if public exposure could make thinks better.
Perhaps it's time to re-evaluate our lives and which parts should be shared and which parts should be held private. Of course, I'm not suggesting shutting off from the world. A doctor needs to know many things if she is going to help us, so she has a right (and obligation) to ask question that we must answer honestly. I am not convinced that that level of candor is necessary in general. People may want to share a proiblem or a concern with their friends and family, but that shouldn't include all of the faceless friends on Facebook and Twitter. There have to be better, less intimate, things to discuss than our bladders, tumors, erectile dysfunction, and latest round of chemo and radiation.
What do you think?
